Why Having a Mentor Sets You on the Path to Success

Q: Natalia, how do self-development mentors inspire and motivate their clients?

A: Who is the one person who can give you everything you desire in life? The answer is simple, it is you. You are the one who is actively taking part in the betterment of your life.

But, you are also the one who imposes preconceived and imagined limitations on yourself.

We all do this. Rather than pursuing our happiness we look for someone else to blame for what we lack in our lives. We are often dishonest with ourselves and those around us about why we are unfulfilled or not living the life we truly want.

As a mentor it is my job to make you more aware.

A mentor will help you come to terms with your reality and push past your imagined limitations. You end up taking back control of your life and that makes you feel inspired and motivated. It is incredible what a positive and honest environment can do to transform your life.

Q: Do you feel that people often undermine mentoring and treat it as a luxury rather than a necessity?

A:  Yes and I can tell you that it often comes from misinformation on what mentoring is and how it can truly improve our lives.

I consider health to be an absolute priority, which includes our physical, mental and emotional well-being. That is why I want to utilise my time to help others reach their utmost potential in every aspect of their life. Where a mentor becomes important is in the process that helps you identify what your dominant human needs are and your core values. A mentor can help you train your mind to form good habits that will improve your mental capacity.

As a mentor, I help my clients understand whether their desires are being met in a healthy or detrimental way. We live in a world where we are programmed to want and want it now. We rarely understand the consequences of fulfilling all our wants using quick-fix methods.

Do what is hard and life will be easy, do what is easy and life will be hard.

It is so important to think on how your choices will affect you in the long-term. You must train your mind to make the healthier choices, not necessarily the easier ones.

Q: Reflecting internally and getting us to ask questions seems to be very important in the process of self-development. How would you describe this process?

A: It comes down to changing the way we are taught to think.

There are limitations in our educational system. We sit in a classroom for over a decade where we are told when to sit and not to sit, where to look and not to look, how to think and not to think, and the list goes on. Fundamentally, there is no freedom of choice. 

In this kind of environment what happens to your natural curiosity? What happens to your individuality and ability to express yourself?

Most of us stop asking questions about the things that interest us and learn to follow the rules.

That is why, as we get older, making decisions can feel overwhelming and difficult. We suddenly realise we have to think for ourselves, but we don’t know how.

As a mentor I remind you that making decisions is not such a novelty. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as it is in the pursuit of self-development. It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. I help filter out the day to day noises that distract you from the truth and give you the friendly push to self-reflect. 

To be mentored is an invaluable experience, which creates lasting improvements in the quality of your life.

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Taking Control of our Emotional Eating 

When you stand in front of the mirror, do you feel that you can improve what you see? 

As a mentor I have worked with so many people who associate their self-worth with their physical appearance. They create a vicious cycle of emotional eating, feeling bad and continuously punishing themselves for their unhealthy habits. Emotional eating can take us on either ends of the spectrum; being overweight or underweight. But, my clients have made the decision to better their lives and recognise that they need help and I am so proud to support them.  

Emotional eating – I have been there and I can relate. I used to look in the mirror and feel guilty, unattractive and drained. I found myself making various excuses for the way I looked and felt. Until finally, self-understanding changed the way I approached the problem and I began to heal emotionally and physically. 

My biggest weakness was anything chocolate. I often asked myself, “Is this who I want to be? Is this what I want to look and feel like?”

During my psychology studies in London my perspective changed. I learned why most people choose to sabotage their happiness by acting on impulse rather than following logic. 

I truly believe that our choices, including mindful or emotional eating, are predetermined based on our six core human needs:

  • Certainty
  • Variety
  • Love and Connection
  • Significance
  • Growth 
  • Contribution 

Food is one of the most common ways we fulfil our needs. It can give us a taste of Variety simply by changing what we eat. We feel Love and Connection as we often eat and drink in social situations and we feel like we are Contributing in some way by feeding ourselves and others. Thus, we satisfy our need for Significance

Basically, even while eating all the wrong things, we feel great, IN THAT MOMENT.

This is the paradox of behavioural psychology.  We know something is harming us, but through repetition we keep conditioning ourselves to behave that way, while expecting different results. Change can only occur once we commit to altering our thought processes. We must look at the long-term effects of our choices and most importantly follow through. 

In the course of my journey, I learned how to deal with negativity better. I started to be more open to constructive criticism and even now when I get stuck, I get help from others. I finally understand that change has to start from within.  

The price of success is much lower than that of failure.

We should take responsibility and know that there people who can help us including Nutritionists, Personal-Trainers and Self-Development Mentors. 

You have the power, so what will you do with it?

Important Fact: You can create a reality that is not really there by affecting your physiology. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate sleep and appetite, mediate moods and control pain. Furthermore, approximately 90% of serotonin is produced in your gastrointestinal tract, which is directly affected by what you eat!

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